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Negotiations with Preschoolers

Because I Said So!

“Mom! Please let me stay up till 12 AM!”, “Is it ok if I skip my shower today?”, “Why are you shouting at me for hitting my brother?!”. There are thousands of other examples of children’s questions that range from being obviously unacceptable to needing consideration to give permission.

A lot of parents’ answers to their kids’ famous question : “BUT WHY” is simply “because I said so”! That answer is ridiculous and outrageous because it is of a child’s nature to test limits and boundaries. So if what you’re saying doesn’t make sense to your child, s/he usually won’t listen.

To begin with, some adults believe that just because they are parents, it grants them the permission to rule unquestioned without explaining anything to their child. Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but successful parenting doesn’t work that way!

Otherwise, the child might intentionally take it to another level of pushing boundaries which isn’t in anybody’s interest. It is then when they might throw themselves on the bed and start screaming out phrases like:

  • I hate you!
  • This isn’t fair!
  • You never let me do anything!


Even if your child is at a young age, take the time to explain in simple terminology why you are saying no to what he wants to do. Children are smart, detect signs, and mimic your every move. Make sure you set solid and stable backgrounds to communication with your child to ensure a healthy relationship.


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