Not all marriages are meant to continue till death do you apart. They can last until you are not happy anymore. Relationships require a lot of work to sustain where having kids keeps your hands occupied, and if you have a job it makes things more challenging, but no matter what, happiness is key.
You should feel you are happy at least once per day. Not all day, but once a day. Maybe when your kids are sound asleep and you check on them before you go to sleep, and smile watching them sleep silently and peacefully. Not all day, but once a day. This is important.
Happiness and self-serenity is important for you, your spouse, your kids, your work, and everything in between. Life is hard as it is, we don’t have to go through it being miserable.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fight for your relationship and try to sustain it as much as possible; that doesn’t mean giving up on your relationship whenever you face a hurdle. But you need to think of your own well-being, your own happiness, your own life so you would be able to take care of yourself, and your kids.The two things that we usually obsess about when we think about divorce are kids and being alone. And for those two reasons, I want to tell you the following:
- Your kids are happier with a happier mom
- You’re most probably alone now before getting divorced
We do care about what people think and how we will look like, being single mothers, and how hard it will be to get another chance to get married or have a significant other again.
Kindly relax, and focus on the most important stuff first.
In order for you to be a good mother, you need to take care of yourself first. Same as “you should put your oxygen mask on first before helping others”.
Your kids are human sensors, they can feel when you are miserable, unhappy, and self-loathing. It affects them. It affects how you deal with them and their problems on a day to day basis.
We all need to take care of our kids and be the best versions of ourselves. Well to be able to do so, you need to be in a healthy relationship, which supports that. If you are in a poisonous relationship, this poison will go through your veins and then directly to your kids. You get the idea.
Are you concerned about not having another chance to know someone that would fill in the emotional gap? Don’t be.
The gap should be filled by you not by anybody else. If you are now thinking about this before getting the divorce, then know that you are better off. Let’s postpone filling the emotional gap till after the fact. Then fill it with self-confidence, self-empowerment, worthy people, good friends, and better well-being.
After your gap is no longer a gap, you will look better, with your feet on the ground and more together. Then you will be smart enough to know who you will let in and who you won’t. You are more likely to get a significant other that will accompany you than completing you. You are complete on your own, you need a companion to tag along not another half or a cane to be able to go on with your life.
When things are ugly and when you can tell exactly how much time you have been unhappy for, it’s ok to get a divorce. You don’t want to get to a point where you say:” I really can’t remember the last time I was genuinely happy”.
Be civilized throughout the process, and never ever poison your kids’ brains by talking bad about their father. You are not getting out so you would poison your kids’ life. Take good care of your kids, good care of yourself, it’s okay to put yourself first here. It’s for the better good. It’s OKAY to get a divorce.